No, this isn't a post about something that has happened to me, it's about what the heck I'm freaking out about today! I've read a couple blogs over the past few days about some bandsters concerned that their bands may have slipped. Then I of course, go straight to lapbandtalk.com and look up all the complications and read people's horror stories of slippage, erosion, stretched pouches, etc and I get all worked up in a tizzy. I know that these were all known complications going into the surgery, but being a cash pay patient it just sets my fear into overdrive about something ever going wrong and having to fork over even more money to take care of it. Like I've mentioned before, I overthink and exaggerate things in my head a bit too much at times and come up with crazy scenarios. For instance, I had noticed my restriction lightening up a little bit, so on Monday I started a modified version of the 5 day pouch test (I say modified as in I snuck in a couple bites of chips in the afternoon). Last night I attempted to eat some chili. Got three bites in and off to the bathroom I went. PB'd. I just get SO nervous when I PB, get stuck, etc. and of course after reading some blogs today and lapbandtalk, I of course think the worst. As I was reading about people symptoms of slipped bands, I of course magically started feeling like I had heartburn & acid reflux (all in my head, I know). I don't have any issues with nausea, heartburn, night coughing, etc so I'm pretty darn positive I don't have anything to worry about. But, dang it still makes me nervous.
I've rescheduled my fill for December 29th and once again I'm contemplating possibly moving it out again. I'm just not sure. Doing this 5 day pouch test thing has helped tighten things back up a bit, but how long until that goes away? I'm so confused. I can't tell if I'm at my sweet spot or not (I'm closer to thinking that I am). I know I should just go to the doctor lay it all out there and get his expert opinion, but dang it's hard to shell out $150 each time I go in and then maybe not even have anything done (again, something I knew would need to be done before surgery, it still doesn't take the sting away when you have to go in though!).
Anyways. Trying to come back down off my freaking out high and realize that there are complications with any type of surgery that is done (weight loss surgery or not) and realize that complications for the general part are rare. Right? Uff-da.
About Me
- Alexis
- Auburn, WA
- I am a very recent 30 year old and am going through a few changes in my life. I'm in the process of updating this little blog o' mine to better reflect the direction my life is going. In the meantime, feel free to read though to get ya caught up to this point...
Me
3 comments:
I freakout like that as well, although Im not self pay its still hard to think that this thing is going to last forever ya know! But I know that my Doctor is the best and I know in his care that I will be ok and as long as I follow his rules and let him know if anything is wrong that I can count on his judgement and knowledge to make the decision, I think it gets into our head sometimes that takes over but as long as you do what you are told thats all you can really do. I dont think that you would need a fill unless you eat and then your hungry again relitivly soon like 2 hours later or so if you pb'ed with the chili[which i have trouble with all the time] then I wouldnt get one quite yet!
I am also self pay and I completely feel the way you do about concerns if something goes wrong. At least your rational side is bringing your other side back into line. I do that often! As for the fill, for me, the modified pouch test or I just went on liquids - restricting my eating- helped to bring back restriction for about 2 days. I was going to schedule a fill, but then some job stress entered my life and WOW - resriction is back and I'm glad I didn't get another fill yet. Hormones also made it tigher so just leave the appt - see how you're feeling - then cancel if 24 hours away and you won't lose that 150.00. It never hurts to call and just push it out a week also to give you some room to decide.
I freak out like that myself when I hear the "bad things" that can happen. My weirdness is so bad I think I have the C word...(c*nc*r) just b/c I have a weird feeling. I don't like saying stuff like that outloud or even typing it out, b/c I believe in the law of attraction! haha! I think I might be stranger than you!
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