Happy 1st Anniversary to ME!

One year ago today at 4:30 a.m. I was off to the hospital for a surgery that would change my life in more ways than I could even imagine.  Once I had made my mind up in March that I was going to have the surgery, I never really looked back.  It's so weird because the entire pre-surgery process up until that point I had been so calm about everything.  I didn't feel nervous at all while driving to the hospital, more anxious I guess of what lied ahead.  Not only of what lied ahead on that day, but what was ahead of me for my future in general.  I was pretty upbeat and talkative while getting into my hospital gown, taking the standard pregnancy test that they have you do (did everyone else have to do that too?) and then came the IV's.  All the nerves must have caught up to me at that point because as the nurse was trying to get the IV in me for suregry, I freaking passed out!  Next thing I know, I have the nurse over me asking if I'm okay, have a cold compress to my head and am slummbed down in the chair.  What a wonderful way to start the day huh?!  Thank god they had some sedatives in that IV once they finally did get it in my arm otherwise my superstitious mind would have raced to how that was probably such a horrible sign and the surgery should not go on as planned!  Needless to say, I survived the surgery and can't believe it's already been one year.

I can't compelty express how this surgery and the past year has changed my life.  There are many things about myself that haven't changed and at the same time I'm slowing starting to become the personal I had always wanted to be (both physically and mentally).  Awhile back, someone had asked the question on their blog, what was your "a-ha" moment that finally made you decide to choose to have surgery/loose weight?  For me, it wasn't one grand moment that hit home.  It was all the small and sometimes big (and embarrassing) moments that added up over time and it had finally gotten to a point where it really was like a switch had flipped in my brain and I just knew that this was the right path for ME.

I don't want to go too in depth with a bunch of stuff, but I do want to go over some of the things I've accomplished and learned this year to really help put things in perspective for myself when I get frustrated when the scale isn't necessarily moving.  It's always nice to see progress....

• Starting Weight -- 305.8 pounds
• Current Weight -- 203.4 pounds
• Total Lost in 1 year -- 102.4 pounds (or on average 1.9 pounds per week)

*click on pic to make bigger*  Green shirt = couple weeks before surgery.  Black Top = 5/27/2010

• Starting Clothing Sizes -- 22/24 pant, 2x/3x Top and 8 3/4 ring size
• Current Clothing Sizes -- 14 pant, L/XL Top and 6 3/4 ring size (I can't even wear my wedding ring right now!)
• Total Sizes Dropped in 1 year -- 5 pant sizes, 3-4 Top Sizes and 2 Ring sizes

Can now fit back into my high school prom dress!

And...fit into my UDA sweater that I wore to Paris, France to perform in my senior year!

• Total inches lost in 1 year (note:  I did not start taking my measurments until September -- almost 4 months after surgery and about 50 pounds down.  New bandsters....take your measurements now!  I kick myself for not doing this sooner since I'm sure I've lost WAY more inches than what is below).
• Neck:  16" to 13" (-3)
• Bust:  49.5" to 43" (-6.5)
• Waist:  44" to 37" (-7) ---I'm in a size 34/35 waist pant so someone please explain to me how I measure at 37" now?!
• Hips:  50.5" to 43" (-7.5)
• Arms:  15.5" to 11.5" (-4)
• Thighs:  27.5" to 24" (-3.5)
• Calves:  19.5" to 16.5" (-3)
• Total Lost:  34.5 inches since September

• My doctor had claimed that most patients with lap band surgery would lose anywhere between 40-70% off their EXCESS bodyweight.  So, if my ideal body weight according to the "charts" is supposed to be anywhere between 140-155 pounds then on the high end I had 150 pounds of excess bodyweight.  Losing 40-70% of that would mean a loss of 60-105 pounds.  I've lost 102 pounds and I don't plan on stopping!
• I don't diet.  I knew going into this that is not what I wanted to do.  It doesn't mean that I'm not conscious of what I eat, but I certinanly do not follow any type of standard "diet".  I do protein first (most days) and try to stick to eating clean, whole, healthy foods (agian, most days).  I've in no way been the perfect model bandster this past year (and probably could have lost more if I was even more disciplined), but the strides thtat I've made from where I used to be are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.  This was the girl who used to go to Jack in the Box almost everyday for breakfast.  Gross.  I do still think about food a lot and have come to the realization that it may just be a lifelong journey for me, but I'm okay with that.  I've really focused the last year on paying attention to being able to distinguish between head hunger vs.  real hunger.  More times than not, we are not REALLY hungry.  We aren't STARVING.  It takes a long time (weeks) for our bodies to go into starvation mode so going a few hours without food isn't going to kill me.  It takes a lot to turn the thinking around and there are many days that I still have a tough time working on that, but I've made it so much further than I ever have and I am so proud of myself for that.
• I've learned, mainly from getting insight from all of you, that no one doctor's "rules" are the same so there is no one right way to do this thing.  It's all about finding out what works for you and what you incorporate into your life.  I am safe with my band and take things slow, but I certainly do not follow every rule to a T every single day.  Also, don't get me wrong...I've had to change my life in a dramatic way.  I do not and cannot eat the way I used to.  Major changes had to happen and have to continue to happen in order for this to be a continued success for me.  One of my favorite sayings is this:  If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got.  So true for many things in life, but especially true for weight loss.
• One thing that I have learned that does work well for me is planning meals.  I'm a busy gal and need to be prepared at home in order to ensure that I've eating properly.  I spend a lot of my Sunday's menu planning, grocery shopping and gearing up for the week ahead.  When I do this, I notice that I make better choices and are more on track.  I still and probably always will love food.  So, I do tend to eat some of the things that I used to enjoy -- just in moderation now.  Good, real, whole food (not processed stuff) can be amazing and when we start to use it just as fuel for our bodies when we are truly hungry rather than filling some other void, then there isn't a need to "diet".  
• With the band does come with the fact that I can't eat some foods any more.  There are some days that I would give my left arm (and that's the one I write with) to just chomp down into a big, juicy burger with the bun and all the fixings.  But, I can't do that any more and if that is something that I had to give up in order gain all the other wonderful things, then it's a fairly easy sacrifice.  
• Exericse.  Plain and simple...if you want long lasting results, friends, at some point you've got to get moving.  It certainly doesn't need to be extreme, but we all have to make some form of exercise apart of our lives.  Find something that you love to do and find things that you may already do and just build on them.  For example, I take our dog to the park at the end of our street every day to play fetch.  Well, now a lot of days I add a small walk around the block a time or two to give me some additional steps and it wears our very active lab out even more.  I didn't really start exercising until about August and then it was still pretty moderate.  I've only recently in the last few weeks really started to ramp up my exercise and push myself to the next level.  My weight loss has slowed and I know it is going to take extra effort now to keep things moving along.   Plus, honestly, who doesn't feel better after a little workout?  It can be a pain to get going, but once you do, it's really not so bad and we'll all live through it.
• Not everyone knows about my surgery and I don't shout it from the rooftops, but when someone does ask how I've done it, I do tell them that it is hard work (cause it certianly is) and from the help of lap band surgery.  Most people are supportive and interested.  Some ask more questions about the band itself, some don't.  I haven't had a horrible run in yet with anyone who to my face has showed their disapproval of chosing surgery. 
• One final thing that I've learned is that it is SO important to NOT compare yourself to other people.  We are all smart ladies (and gentleman) and we know that we shouldn't do this because we all start off at different weights, are different heights, carry weight differently and quite frankly just lose weight differently.  But, this thought process of comparing yourself to others is negative, can be destructive and is just a waste of mental energy!  Just know that if you are eating right, exercising and making healthy lifestyle changes that the weight may come off.  This should never be a contest to see who can get there quickest.  I'm a believer that slow and steady wins the race adn that by taking our time and really training ourselves to have a different outlook on food, exercise and life this will provide long lasting results.

Finally, I can't end this post without thanking those that have truly been such a critical part of my success this past year and who will only continue with my success going forward.  First and foremost, I HAVE to thank my hubster Jeff.  J---who knew that 2-3 years ago we'd be where we are at now.  You've been behind me on this very hard journey every step of the way.  This band has done such wonderful things for us and will only continue to bring more joy to our lives in the many years to come.  I love you more than I could ever say or write.  To all of my friends and family, especially Leslie, Kim, Brandi, Jeremy, Jill, Crystal, Patti, Tom, Krysten, Kelly, Kathy, Tracey, Julie, Dad, Rusty, Brian and all of Jeff's family...it's amazing to have such wonderful people who never judge and support you no matter what.  To all of those who follow my blog...I am by no means funny like so many of you out there and quite honestly I get bored with my blog sometimes so I don't know how you guys follow along but you do!  Your support and comments over the past year are some of the most important things that I could even ask for.  I've gotten to know quite a few of you on a more personal level and CANNOT wait until Chicago when we all get to meet in person.  And, finally...I have to say thank you to three people who are no longer here, but still shaped my life in so many ways.  To Grandpa Bill, Gramma Kitty and my mom Peggy I hope that you are looking down on me and are proud of what I've accomplished this past year.  They wanted nothing more than for me to be truly happy with myself.  I know that they've gotten to oversee my journey along the way and I just want them to know how much more I love them and how they still provide me support even though they dont' have a physical prescense here any longer.

So....how is that for a speech?!  Thanks again to everyone in my life who has done nothing but support me over the last 12 months.  I can't wait to see what the next year of my life brings!